license to dream

Random

2011-12-31T08:50:00.000-08:00

On a new year eve, in Norway you are down with a bad cold and a sore throat.
Even if I wish I don't have the courage to brave the outside cold to join the new year festivities of this Utopian nation.My thinking goes wild really wild.....

What makes us happy ? Most of my answers would be from a married male perspective.
Marriage as an institution which mellows you down a lot before you realize and I really don't regret the change.

We live in a society which never fails to makes us believe that we are the change which this world waited for. We the chosen ones are travelling in the path to materialistic salvation in this bus of globalization.We all live and dream in the perceived and leveraged world of social media day and night. We all are quite far from ground reality ever farther than the 'crowned prince' Rahul.

I genuinely appreciate as an ex-Ayn Rand fan, the philosophical and moral high grounds of capitalism that rewards only hard work. But as no system is ideal, capital always prefer to follow the super critical path of speculation leaving the hard workers mere spectators.

When something falls flat, speculators cover their faces with handkerchiefs that inscribe apologies to capitalistic ideology. Shame on you !!! You are like people who steal from begger's bowl(a literal translation of a malayalam saying )

When value addition to customers is just a side business to enhance the equity value of the stake holders then there is something inherently complex about business. When media tells us that Kingfisher airlines is at loss then it becomes our responsibility to justify what we read. Humanity in any system or rule of law is under the mercy of mathematics and imposed complexities.Whoever does the sums correctly benefits whether it is Tamilnadu or Kerala.We the common man is at the mercy of another fellow human being who is intellectually unequal and is capable of exploiting our ignorance.If we don't get betrayed then thank our stars or the Sunday school the other guy went. The importance of interpretations are always discounted while we fight whole heartily to justify an implemented 'individualistic' view point.

Why the non-globalized political setup of every other country is selling globalization as a silver bullet to all the problems of humanity ? For example,It has increased the daily wages of an unskilled laborer in Kerala to Rs 350 per day. But it has created havoc in migration, posing tremendous integration issues and exploitation and how are we going address them ? .Going back to the previous non productive system of 'Flags'? So do I belong to the elite apolitical anarchist crowd of Anna Hazare who believes corruption is root cause of all evil?. It is just the symptom of this rotten society.
I am not here to give answers that is exactly why we are doing an election exercise every five years.

Change is inevitable and managing change is government responsibility to its 'subjects'. I dare to use the feudalistic word 'subjects'. We trust our lives on our leaders and I hope they understand what leadership is. If they turn blind eye to the social problems of unstoppable apple-cart of globalization, the chances of it getting toppled is considerable. Not that people has got any better alternative but vested interests can turn their frustration on inequality to anarchy in no-time.

Leaders should make the people aware that inequality is legitimate and as a government its responsibility is to ensure equal opportunity and a level playing ground. If the 'ideal free market' is not the correct answer then make the necessary changes. If federal system can't answer pertinent question related to humanity then don't treat it as a holy-cow. When the era of holy-cows end humanity has a chance.

And if rulers don't regulate speculations development will be a game of chance and so will be happiness. A little discipline never hurts. United States of America is not the only example to blindly emulate even if it is the undisputed super power.Rulers of India please read history books along with the economics texts and it will help them to avoid the mistakes USA did in its course of development. Time is a teacher if you fail to take lessons from him the coming generations would not forgive you.....

My sister….

2010-04-09T21:58:00.001-07:00

You need a shoulder to cling on
With no emotional baggage attached
You need someone to vent your frustrations
You need someone to make you smile
You need a lap to sleep like a baby
When the whole world gives up on you
You turn to your mom and realize that
Your pain will pain her more and then…
Then you wish to have a sister like the one
I have…blessed are the ones like me
who have a sister to take all the pain
My tears pain her but she douses them all
She make me feel at home even in exile
We don’t share a bond of blood but we
do share a divine bond of love and care.

Long live my dear…may god bless you....
Love you my sis..you are best

Dialectics and RTE

2010-04-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

Development is complicated. It is a profit and loss statement and the numbers can be interpreted only depending upon the position where you are in the number line; above or below zero.And most of us live a hand to mouth life as glorified poor or aspirational rich. Middle class wants free lunches great roads and liberal social life.But are poignantly critical about degrading ethics and morality. Then we act as trained hippocrats !!! by closing our eyes and ears at the drop of the hat.

Media always convey things with a false sense of authority and it acts as a propaganda mechanism. Because you need a protaganist and an antagonist for a story to be made. And I somehow feel the main stream media is recklessly irresponsible as it bombards our minds with preconcieved notions.
But we made the media and government like this through our jingoistic and dogmatic view points. Most of us believe in absolute truths and like to live in an imaginary utopia; a creation of our mind.But unfortunately that does not exist. This world is grey, infidel and volatile.What we have and can do is just some trade offs.

And a reasonable trade off can happen only through informed dialectics. And that is not permitted to happen.What is happening is a hijacked debate and both parties are busy in proving thier points. But we being zeros have a great advantage most of the developmental decisons dont affect us directly.So our life goes on nethier we are displaced from our dwellings nor we are buying penthouse in Manhattan.

The postive rich are directly benefited and the negative poor degraded. But for godsake we zeros or positives should take a stand to make at least more zeros out of the negatives and the only silver bullet for that is education.For an appreciative next generation we need to invest in education. Otherwise Vedantas will just continue doing lip service and maoists will kiss any kind of development to death.

I am sure the 'Right to Education' bill is in the right direction. Education can only stop large scale exploitation.Only sustainable development can preserve this beautiful earth to longeivity with more percentage of people enjoying atleast two time meals. Raise a toast to this landmark bill...it has its own glitches but what does not have ?

I genuninely feel for marginalised, I love the roarkian courage of Arunthati Roy but I am sure things can be improved without taking stands. It is a vicious cycle. To morally survive and progess we really to need to help others to survive too... Screw the revolution !!! Hail the evolution...try to act as a catalyst.

Let the dialectic logic prevail :)

Pain and Agony

2009-11-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

Back in business...:P

When you have lot to say
It is a pain to be silent
But if your words just echoes
back then it is mere agony

To be unheard, to be unread
to be untouched, to unlearn
and to embrace indifference
is what the path of silence offers

It is a half life but how many
live a full life to reach the end
You cant speak up because you
are not what you really think

Feeling like a king

2008-10-21T22:49:00.001-07:00

Friends are now far and few
But the ones I have does care for me
Oh Lord What more can I ask you for ?
I am so happy than everbefore.

I feel so obliged when someone care about me than myself without seeking anything in return.When that someone happens to be your friend you feel so blessed...you feel so protected from this chaotic world.You feel so sure of your collective identity.
You feel like a king.And no other relationship can give you that bliss...

I love you my friends who has made my life this beautiful.

Offtopic:
Sorry veluvetta..The first line sounds as if I copied that sentence from your profile.But that is exactly what I want to say...It is not my fault that you said it so beautifully some days before me..I dont have time,energy and money to face a plagarisim suit.so forget it...:P

My 50th Post

2008-10-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

Beautiful !!!

I never read a more beautiful story about love. And I thought it is my duty to share the same.

Reflections....images and revelations

2008-10-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

What prevented me from penning down anything for long ? Lethargy,lack of topic, lack of love
or plain indifference to the happenings around me..I dont know.
One the most valuable relationship of mine has off late become a troubled one.And the blame is completely on me. I can't treat him as lord and my best friend the same time. I can't wear an honor that I dont deserve.It is so painful to pray to him as others do 'Krishanaguruvayurappa nalla buddi thonikane' rather than the usual just a 'kanna' vili.It is so impersonal but you made me chose the former.And yes it is your will that prevails.
But I would one day retrive my treasured relationship as that of a best friend with you when I think I deserve it back. Because if I was proud of something that was it.

It is impossible to keep two distinct relationships with any person.You can't be a friend and a lover the sametime, you can't be a father and a lender the sametime.If you are then you are either cheating or simply doing justice to none.I have been doing that for long with him.And I was just juggling those roles opportunistically. Enough is enough... May be I should grow mature enough to come out of Calvin and Hobbes thing.Long winding road indeed !!!
I think the unsent messages in your draft folder are the exact representations of what you think as you are not afraid of other person's judgement.

And with God there is no unsent messages it is all clear as a crystal.I dont want to take refuge in religious rituals.But I understand I can't help from taking refuge in you because I need to derive strength from within..And that is you...who can help me....!!!

As many of my readers (do I have a readership..kidding !!!) know my true identity and I am not as anonymous as before..why the hell should i crib too personal(and crazy for many) thing like this here...Just because this is my den...!!! I am not here to share the fundas or post anything useful to the readers..If it happens it is just a coincidence.What else ?.And each of my sentence is nothing but a reminder to myself rather than anything else.

Follow your heart

It is not what you do now
that would decide your future.
Every single forward step
have to carry your past baggage.

But yet inaction is no remedy
Accept the fact the race is unfair
But still you can beat the pack
Starting late doesn’t mean ending last.

As they say you can’t fake it
Accept your faults and sins
But you can’t afford to hate thyself
You are your last and only refuge.

Give a chase to catch the dreams
Run as fast as if life or death
Results do matter but don’t lose
Your heart as you needs it forever.

Does this sound like a poem.Silly me..On a second read it sounds just like a slogan..
Whatever !! That is all what i want to convince myself.

And yet I have not grown enough old to part with my 'neermathalam' tag.....It is so sexy as BVN rightly said...

Rathish K

Each one of us belong to a different species.

2008-07-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

It was late,around 11 pm in the night and I was impatiently waiting for the taxi to go to home from office. Then came a call from a person who spoke impeccable engilsh.It was hard to believe that it came from the mouth of a Call taxi driver in Chennai.
He was telling me his story, A man of 51 who reads 'The Hindu' everyday and work as a calltaxi driver for a firm and earns around 7-8k per month. I have seen people who are poor than him, people dont have money to have a square meal a day. But not everyone's fate make you feel bad.The mutilated deadbodies from Iraq doesnt give me any jitters ,probably I take my eyes away from that before it affects me.

Coming back to this guy, he got married at the age of 40 and has two school going children and he sends them to a convent school.He said that now he live for them.He wants a job in a call center but he dont have any computing skills.He is not a graduate.All that he has is good english speaking and writing skills. He wish for regular working hours and a better salary.
I dont know whether he will get an employment of his dreams in his lifetime or not.But after many attempts he could not get an interview call from any of the call centres in Chennai. People like him should get a chance in life. I saw a glimse of happiness in his eyes when he told how happy would be his kids when they can tell their friends that their dad works for a software company. Big dreams of a small man...

Even my company which preaches CSR and supporting marginalised people and all that nonsense told me that he is overaged, dont have necessary qualification and cant be considered for any posts.. and hence cannot be called for an interview.And people preach attitude is everything, But I feel people like him should at least get a chance. Get a chance to express themselves.Capitalistic India need to grow really big to acccomodate the aspirations of 'unqaulified' people like him.
Another man of 59 ,a drunkard in ragged clothes was shouting inside the MRTS train to thriuvanmayur.He was pleading to the crowd to push him off the train because he is afraid to do so.Let me quote him.."Why dont I die and anyway there is none to cry for me ?".And needless to say this man also spoke good english, yes i dont deny he was much closer to insanity than many of us are...
Two overaged people with different perceptions about life...The former with some goals to accomplish and the latter who is afraid of throwing himself out of the running train, but fed up with life.
Ayn Rand influences me a big time but still every human being is a different species, and I am forced to believe that relationships and sense of security, sometimes provide more incentives in life than egoistic pursuits to perfection.Is it me who is speaking or is it my age that is making me speak like this...Or is it just that I have made up my mind that I should get married.
I never had a clarity in thoughts throughout my life and I just dont care...

NB: Any one from the HR of any company in Chennai who feels that the former person's english speaking skills can be better utilised feel free to contact me through comments.Losing the sense of security which I derive from being anonymous for a good cause is not a big deal... :P

Learnings from IIT

2008-05-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

Always tolerate the ignorance of others.Try to educate them in all the ways you can.
But never tolearte your own ignorance.Accept it and take corrective measures.
Else you will perish much sooner than you can imagine
And IIT is a place where learning is fun.... (except the 2 hours after lunch..:P)
I love you IIT Bombay.

End of a fantasy

2007-12-06T08:27:00.001-08:00

The mere thought of that would have
sent shivers through my spine before.
But now, I am no longer a stakeholder
The thought of losing you would have
deprived me of sleep for many days
But as of now, I am a mere outsider

I cant say I don’t have pain, but I am
proud that I made a thoughtful choice
We were afraid of changing ourselves
So time had to change the equation
I could have forgiven you as He did
But I am neither He nor a saint.

To be frank my mind is tranquil now
And I sleep peacefully than ever before
I realise that we were never together
And when you were never mine why
the hell should I crib, that I lost you.
There ends a fantasy, nothing more.

Sky is dark, stars are bright but still
a mystic melancholy prevails over me.

Height of indolence

2007-11-22T09:43:00.000-08:00

I wish I could fall in love again
It was indeed draining,
But it was never indifferent
I wish I could fall in love again

I wish I could relive my past
It was indeed painful
But it was never so confusing
I wish I could relive my past

I wish I could break the jinx.
I really want to get out of
this engulfing loneliness
I wish I could break the jinx

I wish I could enjoy my life
Because living it seriously,
made me rather unromantic
I wish I could enjoy my life

I wish I could love me more
I feel I am a ruthless critic
I am indeed not that bad
I wish I could love me more

End of an unspoken infactuation

2007-11-08T20:57:00.001-08:00

This Nov 11th my first crush of life is getting married.And though I belong to the invitee list,I chose not to attend.Not that I can't stand the sight of someone tying the knot on her neck,but only due to logistic compulsions. :)

I saw her first in a science camp,at that time both of us were in early teens,so it was plain infactuation.One way attraction or admiration I should say.A cute,brilliant girl with a pony tail who could win prizes for painting at state youth festival was too good for me then.I met her one more time after 7-8 years,She has changed...a lot.

That time I was at her place and was her guest.She was nice to me and quite friendly,We had a meal together.I chose not to reveal..my old feelings towards her.To be frank I did like her,But could not really differentiate whether my love has turned platonic or not.May be at the age of 22 physical attraction was the foremost thing rather than her skills of painting or she having a gem of a character.Moreover she was of my same age,and I thought I need atleast 4-5 years to think about a marriage.Plain unromantic,I may sound...But I think I was acting just practically.

A decision doesn't come as an event,it comes as a package.I can't really judge whether I made a wrong decision by not attempting to win her heart.But I have no qualms in admitting that when she is going to tie a knot,I am having a little chafe in my heart.Let me make it clear it is not that intense chronic pain that I experienced in a breakup, but this is a bearable little gall.
In fact that gall has a silver lining of joy also.I am happy that she is finally getting married to her longtime sweet heart.

So my best wishes...for your married life.
May you be blessed with all the fruits of companionship...
I value you and your friendship !!!

Some sweet little pains,unspoken love,uncherised dreams drives us...to desire more...And if we gain whatever we dream,then dream will lose its charm.

Second Birthday

2007-10-30T05:27:00.000-07:00

I write when I am sad.
I write when I am happy
I write when I am disturbed
I write when I am excited
I don't write when I am blank

And I am blank now. But still I chose to scribble down something, because my lighthouse is turning 2.

Live until I kill you or live until someone else kills you.
If both of that didn’t happen live forever. But be a happy lighthouse always! That in fact I should remind myself.
Though I do understand that happiness is a matter of choice; practicing it in real life is indeed a tough thing …
Sometimes I feel like deleting you...Sometimes I feel proud that I wrote all these…
Sometimes I feel I wasted all my useful time writing all these crap. Whatever redundant I can’t deny the fact
that you are nothing but a virtual reflection of myself.

Happy Birthday Dear!!!

The Doctor of souls - Ernesto Guevara

2007-09-07T14:53:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer : This is not a movie review.

Film : The Motorcycle Diaries

The effect : Revelation !!!....Miss this movie at your peril

Love is weak if it is based on just heterosexuality or homosexuality.
Love is ulitmate if I fantasize Bhavana( The heroine of tamil movie Deepavali,seems she has acted some malayalam movies also ),Lord Krishna and the wringled Saraswathi amma....(my deceased grandmother) with the same emotional intensity and yes for different purposes offcourse.Emotions cannot be created by reasoning.it should come from within....
And if I could do that...Then on that day I will proclaim that I am free....upto that point I am just fatalistic and an emotionally challenged individual.There are some abnormal creatures who walked on the crust of the earth before me,some walk along me and some will walk after me....And this movie has got two such persons...What more can I ask for....???
This movie is like going to a spa and getting a soothing massage.

The two peaks of the movie according to me:

1st peak

Granado comes and ask Ernesto for the 15 dollars which they never spent during thier trip,May hell or high waters strike them.He wanted that money so that he can fuck the prostitute in the boat.That money was given by Ernesto's girl friend to purchase her a swimsuit from yankieland if at all these guys reach North America.Without blinking aneye Ernesto says that he has given that money to the strange couple whom he met on the Anaconda mines.
Here you see three things.The basic carnal desire,The romantic love and just simple love for our own dreams which break the barriers of gender,creed, class,beauty, nationality and what not...???.I just loved the triumph of plain unconfusing love.

2nd peak

Towards the end of the movie the people of the colony which they stayed for a while, celebrate his birthday and give him a fairwell party.The colony consist a hospital,laboratary and the residences of the doctors and nurses.The river amazon splits the doctor's 'healthy' abodes and the 'sick' patient's dwellings.After the toast and party when everyone is enjoying Ernesto leave the place and go near the river.As he was looking at the other side of the river his friend Grando comes and ask him that whether there is any problem.He replies that he want to go to the other side of the river and was looking for boat.In some urge he removes the clothes and walk into the river,Granado tries to stop him in every possible way.....But this guy just swim across the amazon river to defy not only the manmade divisions but also the aiding nature.The cheering leprosy patients....would have seen the real jesus christ in that blooming communist.Because by breaking the discriminatory rules he just created a sense of belonging among them.

Politics is not about using power and the carrot of development to get love and care(votes), it is about giving the love and care to get nothing but the heart of the people.
and when you get the heart of your people then you are the true leader,Then power is a by product and development becomes a collective effort.
I am still a staunch capitalist only but this kind of movies give me a jerk.
May be the ways of Guevara can be debatable.If 10% percent of that...what is shown in this movie is true about that guy then...no wonder why he is still a hero for many.

Impresionante debo decir...!!!

Novalgia

2007-08-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

It is raining heavily in Cambridge. The water drops running
down the glass pane took me down the memory lane.

Playing in rain and going to school with murky dirty clothes. Telling a very innocent excuse to the teacher that
a ghost chased me down the road. Then when the teacher clarifies: “Ghost? “.Understanding it will be tough to prove my case promptly rephrasing it as ‘something like ghost’
Forgetting yesterday’s ‘cutties’ (a no speak ceasefire between the children) and
telling my best friend that I feel cold and ask him:” shall I sit closer to you?” and then feeling the warmth of friendship.
Showing him the precious little rabbit rubber (eraser to be technically correct) that some relative has brought from Dubai. And
watching the glee in his eyes when I let him hold that. To clap and laugh when a girl who teased me last week, slipped and fell down.
Shamelessly playing ‘cherippu cricket’ (where cricket bat will be a slipper and ball will be made of paper and stumps-‘three lines on the wall’)
inside the classroom away from the prying eyes of sisters(nun teachers who works in convent schools who are notorious for the punishments they offer to kids)
All this happened yesterday…or did they happen some days before???
I vividly remember getting wet in rain while my friend failed miserably to set fire to the funeral pyre of his father. Death was just a long vacation then.
And birth the arrival of a new toy to play with. I hardly knew complex things so I cried for small little things and laughed profusely for silly happenings. Now I have grown older so has my indifference.
Now I understand maturity is just a euphemism for indifference. Why all these crap….??? Never had this nostalgic feeling and all…phew….anyway….I can only ignore them but I can’t deny their existence.
Clock is ticking and the roads are narrowing down…either I need to settle down and set a tea shop on the road side catering the ones who are moving ahead or I should discover the inquisitive child inside me again.

My experiments with death and some unimportant things.

2007-06-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I never expected what was in store for me in that afternoon.We were having a weekend get together at a resort in ECR road in Chennai. Just ten of us were there in the group, first we had some nice breakfast. Then we proceeded to a so called game of volley ball coupled with 'bird watching’. Drinkers (read family men) abstained from both forms of the game.I don't know why this society does'nt treat me as a threat.It is my unfullfilled dream;live as a baddie for a day .Always either voulantarily or dodged by peer pressure, I will be the person who will be assigned to make a tough talk or an icebreaking with strangers.A career diplomat reduced to engineering ? :( Now there was group to be precise four girls and a 'few' boys chilling out near our group.They were the main target of our 'bird watching'.Everybody was mulling a chance to mingle with them.The mumbaikar and cricket are bedfellows.One of my friend spotted a bat in thier hand and suggested that we can have a match with them.And I took the inititative, I just went and asked them shall we play a match.And they just nodded yes.They said I did a great job.Well doing easy task which others are not willing is great or what ?

So it is always fun playing cricket with a group of strange and pretty girls.isn't it ?.But I was atleast expecting them to be some college girls while ogling at them.They were just in school.It is not that I mind watching them as long as they are cute and sexy.But my 26 year old mind has become so conservative now a days that I was trying to get away from them as soon as possible after i realised that they are more than ten years younger to me.Certain things I am finding very awkward to digest.The concept of 15 year olds coming with thier boyfriends in a resort is difficult for me to digest.Call it mere jealosuy or whatever.But this is a little too much for me.And on a lighter note the children grow so fast that guessing thier age can be quite tricky.Coming to the point...They won the match.How futile is this talk about deteriorating values ? Everyone including me to a certain extent is for it.Still we write condemning it. Hippocrazy and useless talk rules.May it be hiring,breeding or whatever young and beautiful rules the roost.Accept it or deny it I don't care.But to be frank it is really a confusing battle where I don't know which side am I.

Then after the lunch we moved to the swimming pool.Being a single kid I was brought up in a protective environment.And being a grandma's little kid and thanks to my introvert nature I missed the bus to learn swimming there itself.And in theme parks I never got inside the pool.Enjoy the rides.....watch 'them'..from the borders and have fun was my policy.

We have a very jovial head,I guess he is in his forties.A helluva kind of prankster.Moreover he had gulped down some decent quantity of RC inside sometime before.No!!! not the Roman Catholic the other one.;).With great amount of deliberations I got into the pool.There were three areas a 3ft , 5 ft and a 7 ft deep one.Seems I was irritating my boss with off-the-cuff remarks and unneccessary observations.Or to be plain he did'nt knew that my knowledge about water ends with drinking it.I was just slanting to the wall of the pool where the depth was 5 ft.he slowly came near me and pushed me...toward the 7 ft one and left me.....I was not perturbed until he left his hand from my body.And suddenly he left me alone in the 7 ft deep area and went offf....Not every keralites know swimming and not me.I was sinking in... drinking that chlorinated water...I tried to yell....more water went in...I was dying!!!.Man I was dying my eyes saw only the blue tiles.My mind was blank but I was trying hard to come up..But I had a very strong hope that it was a matter of seconds and someone will come and help me out,after all it is a swimming pool.It seems my boss understood the gravity of the situation.He came to rescue me...

And inside water a drowining non swimmer is an extremely powerful and dangerous creature.If you have wrong strategy and bad execution ideas you will be the one who will be executed along with him. I think when he tried to hold my hands and pull me out, my first reaction was to push him inside water.I climbed over him and put my head over the water.And then my saviour an ace swimmer and our administrative executive saw my jestures and he identified that something very wrong is happening inside the pool.He rushed to zone.Before that, my boss escaped from my clutches and was reorienting himself to make another save attempt.By the mean time this guy pushed me up...from down and pushed me towards the wall of the pool .My stomach was filled with chlorine water.And the shock factor was there.I could not believe that I was really dying seconds before..The only place where I was expecting to get drowned and die was in some ocean if any of the flight I board, crashes in the mid air.Never ever I expected to die drowing in a pool as I avoid them usually.They were saying, people who gets a bad experience initially gets so afraid that they avoid it completely.But I may be skillless..but none can't question my courage !!! I used a floatter and I was enjoying all the time inside the pool after my drowing experience.And I realised it is quite fun inside water and proving a point always inflates your ego.

I may have valid reasons for why I don't know how to ride a car or a bike.But no reason why I should not know swimming except my shyness to flaunt my seminude body in public.Hell or high waters I am going to...enrol in a swimming class today afternoon because it is a matter of life and death.And dying, drinking the chlorinated tasteless water is quite boring you know.

Declared Plagiarism

2007-06-12T06:28:00.001-07:00

If this poem doesn’t look like one; the fault is mine because may be I could not transfer the whole essence of his work.

If you like the poem then the credit should go to the original work because my creative input to this piece of work is zero. And those who understand Malayalam please go through the original work

Lapuda

This is the translation of a poem named “Kettuzhuthu “by T P Vinod (Lapuda).

Dictation.

Words get picked from
nowhere and they get
transformed to questions!

I need to reach from
the sounds to words by
arranging the alphabets.

When her voice sounded
like ‘grief’ ;along with that
came this choppy crazy rain.

It sounded as if pebbles
were hitting the tin roof; the
rain virtually deafened me.

Even now I fail to listen!
Even now I do misspell!

I still fail to arrange the
alphabets of those words,
which came after ‘grief’

I hate therefore I am.

2007-05-02T01:38:00.001-07:00

Once I use to consider hatred as a negative feeling. Now from certain latest happenings in my own life, I understand that it is not. Sometimes you need to hate, just as a balancing act.
Learning to hate itself is a liberating experience. Being diplomatic is a euphemism for hypocrisy. It is rather acceptable if it is between two nations, because the numbers of stake holders involved are high. At an individual level you should never practice it, because you will end up having neither any real foe nor any real friend. All that you will have is a lot of acquaintances and unmanageable amount of shallow relationships. If you don’t have any real enemies until your death, I am very sure that you compromised with your life. Remember ‘forgiving is divine’. So leave it to Him only. Judge actions of people and don’t fake friendliness, If they are out of sync with your principles and value system, just avoid them for god sake. You need to be selfish to that extent. Don’t keep a relationship under hold, hoping a change in their behavior or the worse praying for one.
Love thy soul; hate all those who corrupt it. Keep away from your enemies. Keep them at one arm distance. Overlooking their existence doesn’t make them non-existent. Just wipe them out of your mind as wiping them out of your vicinity need violence and violence is what you should hate the most. But you may ask how you can avoid irritants who keep on charging at you. Don’t you need to confront them? Well as of now I don’t have a clear answer, but if you grow really fast, stray dogs usually find you aloof. So for practicing hatred you need tremendous all-round growth.

In my case, the seeds of diplomacy were sowed in my early childhood itself and now it is trying to bloom. I am trying very hard to suppress it. I think hatred is the most underrated and misunderstood emotion. It is emotion of action… Hail the hatred, Hail its prerequisite The Growth. Oh dear…If I fail to hate a devil, how I can love an angel…

Flying at Easter times.

2007-05-01T01:51:00.000-07:00

Am I sad to leave Cambridge after my first trip to abroad? Well I don’t know; I was having a neutral feeling.
The taxi driver asked me:” which terminal? “. I went to Norway by 3rd terminal of Heathrow few days back, or did I have any special affinity to that terminal. I had a faint memory that I read about that terminal in the Srilankan airlines website. Though I have a bad memory, I don’t lack confidence.
Confidently I told him: “3rd terminal”. I reached Heathrow airport terminal 3.I reached there by 6:00 pm well ahead of my flight timing i.e. 9:45 pm.
I searched for my flight details in the monitor. No flight to Colombo was displayed there. I was a little panicked… I went and asked a guy sitting in the enquiry...regarding this.
He also looked at the monitor and told me this startling observation, that my flight was not displayed in his monitor also. So I asked him ‘politely’ where should I board it was already 6:15 pm.
He searched and told me you have to go to terminal 4.I asked rather requested:” can you please tell me how to reach terminal 4? “He told me to go straight and then take a left, then walk a bit more then take a right. Then he paused a bit. I felt I panicked unnecessarily it is so close. By the mean time he started giving me directions again. He told me to walk a few 100 meters straight and to take a left again where I can find a lift to basement and added from there I can catch a ‘free’ train to Terminal 4.My closed mouth become wide-open in awe.
Run Lola Run….This time I want to be super sure. I requested him to repeat the instructions. I listened carefully. Then I held the handle of my trolley….I closed my eyes and prayed to the pantheon. Jet set go….I ran pushing the trolley as fast as I could. Taking left right up and down and when finally I reached the platform by 6:40.

And it was written in queens English that I can’t take trolley into the train…So I had to reduce my break neck speed right away to snail’s pace. Carrying around 30-35 kgs of luggage with my physique is not very easy. I wonder how Dhanush lift Nayanthara.May be a special effect or is it what is called rising to the occasion. And at last poor sweating me…got into the Heathrow express bound to terminal 4.And thankfully the train was kind to me she didn’t waste much of my time
I reached the terminal 4 in 10 minutes or so. It was around 6:50 pm.I stood in the queue for check in…it was a very long queue. I waited for over one and half hours. Finally I reached the counter and handed over the travel documents to the guy sitting there. I was again praying to the same pantheon whose response record is quite impressive, this time my need was that he should not charge me for excess baggage. But that guy had another plans. Without having an apologetic look in his face, He told me that the flight is full and he can’t let me in. He weighed my baggage and put a tag a on it and give all my 35 kilos back and asked me to report to Srilankan airlines office. I asked but why???He indifferently told me that it is Easter season and ‘they’ have overbooked and everybody turned up so they are not in a position to offer me a seat in ‘my’ flight. Anyway I don’t have any hurry to return back to India. But still my blood was burning, heart was beating fast.How dare they can deny me a seat in the flight.I thought about the injustice Gandhiji faced in South Africa Gandhi and Shilpa Shetty in Big brother while walking towards the airlines office. With a stiff look in my face i reached the counter.A srilankan belle was sitting at the counter; she wiped all my anger with her 1000W smile. You need to be born as a revolutionary. Not everyone can become one; it should be in the blood. Distractions are too very much for revolutionaries in this beautiful world…phew….

I explained the situation to her, and note never did I lose my calm. Though she never would have felt sorry for anything, she told me that she was sorry for the inconvenience caused to me. Blatant lie what else? Though the MCP/Gandhi in me was raging with anger, I always let the gentleman in me to speak. I told that it is alright and asked her how she could help me to reach my destination.
She calmly told me that either I could sue them or accept their compensation and leave the travel arrangements to them. I told her about the meeting that I would miss and all…Both of us knew it was a lie. I asked her about the compensation they were going to offer me…She told me 600 euros. If I say that I was happy that would be a real understatement. By 12 hours sleep is not worth 600 euros anyway.
But I don’t want to look cheap and I clarified regarding sueing.She told that I need to fight the case at Colombo and I need to make my own travel arrangements back to India. As fortunately
my dad chose not to compete with poor Ambanis in creating wealth, I had to choose the compensation route.
I had a nice stay at one of the five star hotels of London for a night, a chauffer driven car to pick me up next day morning, a window seat in morning flight to Colombo and a top up of 600 euros. Can I ask anything more…??? .When I reached Chennai airport I was again praying to all the gods both favourite and not so favourite ones….that my luggage should be lost….I waited for 1 hr…I was meticulously planning what to do with the 2000$ compensation I am about to get. But this time Gods were a little less co-operative. My 35 kgs arrived…showering water over my plans! .600 euros in hand is better than 2000$ in the baggage.is'nt it...???

Coping with frustration and mediocricity

2007-04-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

What would have prompted a 23 year old English major to shower bullets on unsuspecting souls?
Hedonism and Christianity! I find it an illogical answer for such an unpardonable and ruthless act.Yes lack of support system would have made him a loner. But is that justification for erasing 33 odd dreams.
When we chase success, when we act ruthless, when we hate ineffective people and when we dump elderly as useless people to stay ahead in race, mind it we are digging our own grave.
What happened was an extrapolated natural repercussion, the lava of anger, and the destructive explosion of frustration. And that American-Korean was just a symbol.
If we dismiss it as an odd and eccentric case, we might have to dismiss terrorists also as odd people. But dismissing or wiping out these disgruntled people are not quite easy.
This is clear case that indicates the failure of US statecraft that gave more importance to personal safety than public safety.

Wake up to act…Else you will be buried in sleep. Be a little sensitive be a little caring. And raise the children properly for god sake.
Collective psyche of competitive spirit is wonderful for the growth of India. But please don’t feed on carcasses to achieve that.

Practically it is better to lead a happy and ‘unsuccessful’ life than ‘successful’ and unhappy life.

Two Stories for this children's day

2006-11-13T07:07:00.000-08:00

Story 1:
Vidya was a plump little girl studying is 7th std when I left kerala for my first job. She was just like my little sister.
I taught her playing chess and cycling. Then when I started giving tutions she was my first student. She always confused between Lasagu(HCF) and Usaga(LCM).For teaching her I learned the malayalam terms for LCM ,HCF and all. And as she landed in her teens our relationship ended with a distant smile and a customary hi, how are you?

Yesterday she hung herself on a fan because she couldn’t cope with pressure of studying in English medium after studying for last ten years in Malayalam medium. She always complained that she couldn't understand anything that is being taught at school, but everybody felt that she is making mountain out of a mole. Nobody seemed to care a damn. A girl with distinction in tenth standard getting low marks was unpalatable for her parents. She was scolded like "u r just fat and lazy”. Whom shall we marry you off..you are a fat ugly girl moreover you are getting low grades.It took a heavy toll on her self esteem.And she just chose to walk off from all tribulations.

Whom shall we blame?
Me (for not asking her to learn the technical terms in English and vociferously instilling the idea not to learn by rote)
Her parents (for not understanding her)
Her school (for being an institution to penalise her ignorance in english rather an institution to test her knowledge)
Globalization (Her family become rich and they could afford to send her to a covent school)
This world (for overlooking a magnificent little mind)
She only (for being a coward in this brave world)

Story 2:
Vidya is a 12-year-old girl who is suffering from AIDS. She got this gift from her mother at the time of birth. I remembered her story when I heard my neighbor’s death.
She got admission to 1st standard at the age of 10 after long legal battle. Nobody sat with her in the same bench. She has to cook food for her brother and her sick grandmother. She can’t dream of a normal life, still she has that urge to push hard. May be she don’t know what is in store for her future. But sometimes ignorance is bliss and she is not complaining. She is really happy when those 7-year-old classmates let her to play with them. Her smile bring a lump in my throat. But how cruel our so-called literate civilized society is. Not everyone in this world has the courage of this little girl. We should be proud of her. For me she is as powerful as Indra Nooyi or Angelena Merckel.Because being powerful means being capable of influencing many lives. May be Vidya is not influencing anybody’s life. But she is influencing her own life in a big positive manner.With the institutional frameworks that bound Mrs.Nooyi and Mrs.Merckel,they even cant dream of living such a bold life.I salute this bold young girl today.
Story courtesy:Penmalayalam in Kairali TV.

I really wish a bit of that innocence a bit of that courage a bit of that ignorance were left in my neighbor’s case.

The 1st story is a fact+fiction mix and 2nd one is fact and fact only.

4 love + 4 hate = 1 tag

2006-10-13T06:15:00.000-07:00

8 random things about me... veluettan tagged me...

Really a tough tag to do..indeed......But really a interesting one..

I have a lot of virtues so I can't be called a curse
I have not done justice to anyone so I can't be called a blessing.

I am altering the format... like.. four random things associated with me that I hate and four random things associated with me that I love.

1.I love death.Becuase I like to be with my kannan as soon as possible.But I hate suicide.
2.I hate liars.I double hate those who lie shamelessly or compromise thier values to reap undeserved beneifits.
3.I hate being an amblyopic which unfortunately I am.It has already shut doors to many careers which i would love to be in.
4.I love me as a package.I am a narcissist.
5.I love to weep and dance to devotional songs alone offcourse..,because it cleanses my mind.Tears work wonder for me.
6.I hate my indecisiveness to accept a school of thought in politics or economics.
7.I hate my time management skills and lack of focus.
8.I love my reslilent nature and my ability to keep my cool when it matters the most.And this heroics become mandatory due to my bad time management skills only...
I am handing over this tag to Deepz,Chettan,BVN,Sunflower,Aqua,Seema,and How do we know....
and to ...the one special great soul whose permission I should seek before assigning a task...

All others be good..guys and gals..complete the task in hand in your next post..I would love to read 8 random things about you....

I thought..but could'nt understand

2006-09-18T05:35:00.000-07:00

"Dont let someone become a priority in your life when you are just an option in thier life"

I thought a lot over this SMS msg. But could'nt even decipher the meaning.
How the hell would you know that when you are blinded with love ?
The uncertainities,the undercurrents are the name of the game..But give your full heart...
Love as if there is no tommorow..because your heart is worth it..
But there will be many meanings which nobody will understand even if they put all thier reasoning to action.Or else..they simply don't want to understand..
If we understand everything then what is the fun in living ?

Love pours water over the fire.

2006-09-14T03:00:00.000-07:00

Neermathalam is back from ashes to beg pardon.
He trusted her than his self,some communication gap,some misunderstanding played havoc in that trust.And he told on her face that what no one would like to hear.He questioned her self esteem.When she sweared on kannan neermathalam died no he just evaporised.Possessiveness, impatience made his spring turn to a siberian winter and he almost lost, he almost died thanks to magnanimity of that angel.
"I call u back to be a part of my crazy world.I know that you have noy yet recovered from the cheap shock given by me ,Then too I am calling you because I love you .....

Here starts his battle to retrive that broken trust.May be again this tree will flower..or may be again the doors to his mind will be closed....but on a positive he kisses the bindi which she gifted him when they met for the first time

Neermathalam is over.

2006-09-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

There lived a neermathalam.He led a happy life getting himself wet in rain and waving his head with wind.Someone who was in need of firewood cut him.And thankfully it was really painless transition from green to black.And neermathalam thoroughly enjoyed his transformation.

Always take decisions
which you can revisit
Always put semicolon,
Fullstops are painfull.
But sometimes your
brain rules your heart
and my brain asked me
to put a fullstop forever.

He loved his life but someone really wanted to cook food,so he had to let her cut his trunk.
And thanks to all for everything.Everyone was so kind to him.
Everyone....
And sorry to this world...If I have hurt anyone living here.I love you all...

Love sang a song....

2006-09-09T22:02:00.000-07:00

When hearts rekindle the spirit
Then music offers the backdrop
I can't be but the blesssed one
as she rained in my barren mind.

When the rain stopped,I was not
alone I could hear water trickling
down my roots, again new leaves,
again new fruits and again a growth.

Altar of trust

2006-08-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday one of my friend parted ways with his long time love.
on a positive note at least he had some learnings from it.
As his sister rightly said..."Girls are too very complex for men to comprehend".
I dont know whether the chauvnist in me or just the rage against the way 'my' friend's trust was misused make me agree with her.
Broken trust is not new to this world but when it happens so close to you... so very close...
I find it little bit difficult to gulp down that reailty.

He was staring at darkness
Then came a cool breeze
It started caressing him,It
whispered in his ears,It just
took him to an alien world.
A world of hidden pleasures.
The absense of sun was not felt
the bright promises prevailed.

Then when he started feeling
the warmth of sun,He realised
that the cool breeze is no more.
Then a bad odour prevailed. Yes !
He was stinking with a nauseating
smell of some rotten wild flower

Was the breeze alien to him
or is the sun just fooling him ?
But for sure there was an odour
Due to rancid breach of trust.

Again a mini travelogue.

2006-08-25T04:03:00.000-07:00

An old man alone in the banks of ganges...What did he gain what did he lose.Leave all those crappy talks.. isnt he photogenic... ?? isnt he cute..

In two days an Indica car along with her driver,neermathalam,his parents and house owner 'Maaji' went to Haridwar->Rishikesh->Haridwar->Dehradun->Mussorie then they returned back to new delhi and started coping up with gruesome power cuts of the capital city.
You would have seen all these following landscapes through a better photographers lens.Dont you people watch Travel and lifestyle channel.Still as this is some rare occasion I venture out exclusively for a trip I dare posting those snaps.
I thank my employer who paid me enough salary and an intime bonus so that I could take my parents to a very memorable trip (For them).They were very happy because they washed all thier sins away.They exonerated all dead people of our family in the past seven generations to vaikunda(heaven..).cynic me...also washed all my sins away in ganga..so that i can start afresh..
But jokes apart I m really happy to make my dearest ones happy for a while.
As a traveller I also thoroughly enjoyed Mussorie.No doubt she is called queen of the hills.And Sahasradhara of Dehradun..Beautiful it can be termed as riskless Vazhachaal(very risky cascading waters uphill of Athirampally water falls of kerala..).Those cascading waters made me a child...I think I was really underestimating what money can buy.For that revelation this trip was memorable for me aslo.

Happiness

2006-08-11T01:45:00.000-07:00

The world will never know my beauty..,
It is far too ignorant and blind to understand...

Or even see something so exalted.

I’ll love whomever I please, and
I have, and still do..

I’m broken but strong, knowing
I’ll never die by society’s hand- though
Its weight makes it harder to breathe...

So I walk on and I walk tall,
With every moment of pain displayed on my delicate skin..
A road map to what once was,
A place I never plan to venture.

I live for the moment alone,
Forget the future and the past,
They exist only in one’s mind.

I expect little but hope for the world,
Think small but dream big..

The world will never know my beauty,
For I could never be part of this world...

Unknown Poet

Wonderful piece of work..I got this from an orkut profile.It was put in 'about me' section
I was awestruck by this poem.. this is what I feel now a days...
I really feel that this is about me also.
Anyone can dismiss this words as height of pessimissm...But why do you classify people
does it serve any purpose...
Leave me alone and I m much happier than you all... and i have my own reasons for that...
Dont dismiss things that you can't comprehend..

Annihilate Conflict

2006-08-06T23:42:00.000-07:00

When you are in a harmonious environment, your mind picks up any excuse to be in conflict. Often small things are enough to create a big turmoil. Have you noticed this?
When your survival is at stake, you don't complain that nobody loves you. But when you are safe and secure, you start demanding attention. Many people create conflict in order to get attention.
Ask yourself this question: Do you seek harmony in every situation, or do you seek to widen the differences and prove your righteousness?
The seed of negativity and the tendency for conflict in you can be annihilated only by sadhana.

Sri Sri Ravishanker

I got this words in an email from one of my dearest friend....kudos to devooty..I just love this words..I am really able to correlate these stuff..in those happenings in my life which had left my mind empty and gloomy for some days.
And when friends like her are around who could even read my silence and come up with such a quote,I feel so happy...so happy for no reason.
:)

Again some random thoughts

2006-08-03T06:19:00.000-07:00

I dont know what is a poem,If it is an expression of thoughts it cant be naturally rhythmic beacuse thoughts are never be rhythmic...Rhythm comes after organising your thoughts

As I am born too lazy to organise things,
I am sharing some thoughts and after thoughts...with no rhythm added...

When we rush craziliy
to chase our dreams,
When we pant due to
the lack of air intake

There will be someone who
is praying, someone who is
shedding tears,may be so
close to us, may be so far

We often fail to halt and
hear those prayers and tears
Then they transform to those
haunting answerless questions.

Life was never about the
mad cat and mouse game
It never thrived on division
Always it spoke about union

I was running as fast as I could
Then I heard a moan,thought it
was my conscience, but it was an
old ugly lady uttering something

Though not worth a look,I looked
then from her trembling lips I could
guess the agony of real solitude
I dont know what made me help

When I paid the money for the
medicines,Her eyes was wet
I was neither moving mountains
nor having joy,Now I found a clue

When you want to see joy,feel
elated,give what you have,may
be a smile,may be a hand,or else
you also will be just another winner

I always wanted karnan to win

2006-07-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

Coeval Karnan

Oh Lord...Am I growing ?
What did I learn and Where
I m forcing myself into by
embracing outdated ideals.

Everywhere I find people
who have made winning a
habit and here I blame them for
being not as ethical as I am..

When it matters the most my
skills betray me..And victories
where always the monopoly of
Arjuna..Am I the born loser ?

This world will respect me,
This world will idolize me
My image will grow and glow
But still I will be a gracious loser.

I hate losing this war.. so Indra !!!
Go back to your abode..You
will never get what you want.
I've the might and I choose to win.

When coeval Karnan wages the
war that will change the course of
history which is full of false notions
and unneccessary glorifications.

I have ran out of titles...

2006-07-13T23:22:00.000-07:00

so.... no title for this random thoughts also...

When the hand that held you tight
slowly lossen its grip to leave you
Then the entire joy wanes away..
Your eyes are wet may be not due
to the pain,but due to the very
fact that someone whom you treated
better than thou in your entire life
let you down, alone in this crowd.
But the nano hope of the return
of that griping hands make you live.
Accept it or not..We are either
living for love or searching for one

They comment on my life and I share that with the world - "wonderfool..."

2006-07-13T03:32:00.000-07:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6
Mind:	6.6
Body:	6.5
Spirit:	9.2
Friends/Family:	3
Love:	6.9
Finance:	6.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Some one has devised a program to quantify things which are usually beyond quantification.

Though it is useless I dont find it as nonsense.I knew that I will get high rating in spirit..But what about my friends and family...3.I dunno what happened..

Come on my dear friends...Come on amma n achan...boost my ego. I want a perfect 10 there....next time when i take the test.

The Ethical Paradox

2006-07-10T04:57:00.000-07:00

Ethics is a paradox and almost everything has double standards.Let me go to the incident directly. My friend got a job in the reputed IT firm in India who are considered to be the epitome of corporate ethics.

He got the job by faking his resume.He had the skillset but he didnt get the right opening because companies wanted a person who had 'real time experience'.It doesnt matter if the person spent most of the time on bench and did some documentation in the previous company.

Eventually on the basis of fake experience certificate he joined the company.He slogged,conducted training for those who were much senior to him and eventually became right hand of his team lead.And he was selected for an onsite within 4-5 months of joining the company.
Here comes the twist of the story,the external agency that was assigned to conduct 'pre-employment verification' submitted its report. It categorically conveyed the fact that the experience certificate my friend produced was 100% fake. HR tigers came woke up.He was into the organisation for past 5 months and as HR got a negative feedback on 'pre-employment verification', they had to sacked him... Is it that 'pre-employment verification' means something else in thier dictonary.God only knows....
No shortfall on their part ? Hail corporate ethics. !!!!!. Twist pe twist... After getting the marching order,he joined the same company again in the next week in a contract role. I dont know who is having the last laugh.Within a week he flew to onsite to serve an esteemed client.

Can contract employees go for onsite...?? aree yaar rules are not to be broken but it can always be bent.See the company submitted fake resume to the client and didnt had the guts to say that its own employee fooled them.What if they lose the contract by revealing an unpleasant truth.Or maybe they didnt get a replacement candiate to send to the site on time.Whatever maybe the reason I find it very difficult to digest the complexities of corporate ethics.The fake resume cost him his job,the same fake resume took him to onsite.Of late I came to know he was getting rave reviews from the client side...Anyway he was carrying an updated copy of his faked resume in his briefcase who knows when opportunity knocks.....!!!

I m neither blaming the company nor my friend.Because I thought these all are exceptions but repeated incidents are shattering my convictions.When exceptions become rules and rules become exceptions,I feel so outdated in this highly updated world.

Disclaimer:The organisation i work for,my parents,my friends,my enemies can have different view points about the same incident.And afterall I can verywell say that the story came to my mind when I was munching peanuts while waiting for my sweetheart in arizona desert.And the story is as true as my previous sentence.

MOHAM in malayalam...

2006-07-03T22:46:00.000-07:00

This is the film song adaptation of that famous poem.

Moham

2006-07-03T05:47:00.000-07:00

There is a poem named 'moham' by a renowned malayalam poet
O N V Kurup. I believe this poem doesn’t come under the purview of plagiarism or translation.
When I wrote this I don’t know whether subconsciously my mind was translating 'moham'
But if he has written a similar poem with a similar theme… What can I do if my mind…also
think in a very similar fashion. Hence i wrote...If I get brickbats for this one I am only responsible
for distorting such a beautiful work by ONV (though I did unconsciously) and I am extremely sorry about that.
If someone likes this go and read Moham(if you know malayalam)...its an amazingly beautiful poem.

Wish

I wish I could rewind my life,
I want to live that life fully.
I wish I got my childhood back,
I want to enjoy it completely.
I wish I got my innocence back,
I want to flash that toothless grin.
I wish I could change my views,
I want to drop all my prejudices.
I wish I could take a decision,
I want that decision to be unbiased.
I wish that I lived in a utopia
I wish to be the ruler of that utopia
I know how futile my wishes are
Still I wish that my wishes turned true.
Am I the prisoner of my futile wishes?
Or am I the man the world waited for?
May be when I rest in peace I will
find answers for all these questions.

Today I met a lion hearted man

2006-06-28T04:31:00.000-07:00

I always wondered who is my role model...
Is that my mom who could manage any budget...?
or my dad who has taken a vow to hurt none...?
No I do love them the most...but If the question is 'would I want to emulate them..?'
A 'no' will be my answer....Today I came accross one whom I wish to emulate
http://www.alexisleon.com/
If you have time visit this website...If you dont have time...find time and visit this one...
He will be an answer for all your doubts about life...throw away all your self help books...

I dedicate this post to him...and the same poem is posted in the comments section of his blog..

To Alexis

Today I found you
read your story with
anguish,exictement
and a sense of triumph.

I only had my kannan*
with me as my mentor,
as my best friend, as my
soul and he was mine.

I wanted him to love me
more than anyone else.
Now I dont want it,I want
him to love you more

You may think I am mad
But I care little for that
I gift you my lord with wet
eyes and heavy heart

I may be crying because
I am not as strong as you
I am happy because I gifted
you my sole reason for joy

This is how I kill time...

2006-06-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

I am feeling bored... !!!
I wanted to write something serious...as usual my procrastination won the match,,,
My halfbaked..article based on a real time story is...kept in abeyance.
So today morning I didnt have any work to do...and didnt bother to go and ask for some..
You should never chase work..it comes and break open your door..rajini style..
So here I go.Nobody tagged me...I took it from an open invitation on Alexis blog...

4 jobs I’ve had:

1. Tution teacher(I earned some money in my life for the first time through this profession..)
2. Career Counseller...(I just love this job.an on demand job..;)only for my friends)
3. Content writer for a website.
4. Piping engineer(only job that I am paid for right now..and the only job I try to get out of..)

4 films I could watch again and again:

1.Oru Vadakkan Veera Gadha (MT's Dialogue...awesome!!!)
2. Bharatham(Lalettan....at his best...)
3. Kilukkam(still laughing about.."angamalile prime minister"..(revathy at her best))
4.Nandanam(Kannan...wat else..???all melodrama..I can withstand on his name..)

4 places I’ve lived in:

1. Koduvayur
2. Palakkad
3. Chennai
4. New Delhi

4 TV series I like to watch:

Recently I started watching TV after a hiatus of 4 years..and at that time also..I was protected from cable television from my ammamma....

As I said before..work has came to me...breaking my thought process rather..Now I have to prepare tank drawings...(pretty boring stuff...when soemone will pay me to write poems ??)

1. Surabhi(Siddarth kak...and Renuka anybody remembers good old Doordarshan days....)
2. Turning point...(again....Doordarshan..Girish Karnad use to present it...)
3. Tom and Jerry(anytime.anywhere.anyform..) I luv cartoon network
4. Midnight Hot..on one and only FTV(When ever I am awake and alone or likeminded dirty devils(my friends) are with me...to keep me awake...)

4 places that I’ve been on vacation to:

As a matter of fact I dont like travelling very much..kinda couch potato...But If someone win to persuade me to go for one...I will be like an prisoner out on parole....I dont know how travelling transforms me...Somewhere deep inside me an activity man is fast asleep...Travelling act as alarm for him to cut loose....

1.Jaipur(Room mate.. forced me...to go there in Scorching heat)
2.Yercaud(Friends marriage..I lost my specatacles there...in a waterfall....)
3.My home at Palakkad (for the past four years that was my frequent vacation hangout.)
4.Guruvayur(The only place where nobody need to force me to go...)It is my 'spiritual spa'

4 websites I visit everyday:

1. My friend's Blogs
2. Mathrubhumi
3. Orkut
4. Pagalguy

4 books I’d love to read again and again:

1. Alchemist
2. Randamuzham
3. Balarama and Bobanum moliyum(old or new....I luv it...)
4. The Argumentative Indian(as a matter of fact I love the thought process of Amartya Sen)

4 favorite dishes:

1. Dosa and Chicken/ulli sambar..
2. Prasada uttu..(Again Guruvayur temple...cant help it..)
3. Fruit salad with Ice cream
4. Pomergranate Juice

4 places where I’d like to be right now:

1. My home at Koduvayur
2. Puthiyankom(enthe achanthe veedu..)
3. Guruvayur
4. Inside the soil as ashes( I do love death.. a painless death...who doesnt love that..)

4 people I’m gonna tag:

1.Anyone who wants to kill the time at thier disposal...and feel guilty about it afterwards..;)

Job Satisfaction

2006-05-21T23:09:00.000-07:00

Umpteen people spolied their careers by job hopping and the the opposite also holds true,Many promising people stagnated just because they didnt make the right moves at right time.In this volatile and booming economy employee satisfaction and loyalty is a big myth.Desires rule the world.Mr.Buddha you are really out of fashion.I m no different.A twenty percent hike in the present salary is enough to trigger a thought in me, not that I will hop just like that but i will definitely give a thought about the offer.

I recently read an article written by 'God' Drucker titled 'Managing oneself'.He says most of the gifted people realises what they want to do in life in thier mid-twenties.And i m 25... :-)..I m posting an excerpt of that 10 page article...

"Throughout history, people had little need to manage their careers--they were born into their stations in life or, in the recent past, relied on their companies to chart their career paths. But times have drastically changed. Today we must all learn to manage ourselves. What does that mean? As Peter Drucker tells us in this seminal article first published in 1999, it means we have to learn to develop ourselves. We have to place ourselves where we can make the greatest contribution to our organizations and communities. And we have to stay mentally alert and engaged during a 50-year working life, which means knowing how and when to change the work we do. It may seem obvious that people achieve results by doing what they are good at and by working in ways that fit their abilities. But, Drucker says, very few people actually know--let alone take advantage of--their fundamental strengths. He challenges each of us to ask ourselves: What are my strengths? How do I perform? What are my values? Where do I belong? What should my contribution be? Don't try to change yourself, Drucker cautions. Instead, concentrate on improving the skills you have and accepting assignments that are tailored to your individual way of working. If you do that, you can transform yourself from an ordinary worker into an outstanding performer. Today's successful careers are not planned out in advance. They develop when people are prepared for opportunities because they have asked themselves those questions and rigorously assessed their unique characteristics. This article challenges readers to take responsibility for managing their futures, both in and out of the office. "

Did I realise what I want to do with my life ? A million dollar question.I have lot of questions but no solid answers...I only know onething.I want to make a positive difference to the world I live in.Never ever I dreamt of driving S-Class,nor did I dream of running a corporation.But at the night when I go the bed to sleep I want to pat my back for the good work I did during the day time.Yes buddies...The guilty consiousness pangs me..I definitely believe I belongs someother area of work. All management decisions are tradeoffs...there is not rigid right or wrong.Same is the case with life.There is nothing called Job satisfaction.It is just a tradeoff between materialistic desires and intellectual stimualation.Yes some lucky exceptional souls get both or perhaps the earn that.I salute them.

But I m sure sooner or later I will enter the arena where I belong to...But when is the question...Plan buddy plan...But When ur plans are spoiled what to do ?? Be optimistic there is always a tomorrow.Anyway there is no fun being pessimistic...Atleast being optimistic..will help you to shed your tears for someother purpose.

And Mr.Yechury and Sharad yadav....I wanted to write reply for the articles you published in Hindustan Times...in a span of 2-3 days.Really You people are 'politicians'.Why are you doing like this ? Do you really think reservations will make difference.I know your heart also beat for those protesting doctors.I know it is your brain speaking..for petty political gains...I beg please dont spoil mother India.. You championing the cause of pro-reservation is another thing,but the reason you both gave for supporting reservations is plain outrageous.

My Jaipur Trip.....and my lost obsession

2006-05-07T04:13:00.000-07:00

OBSESSION....(my last post..in this series...thank u othalanga....)

False promises...

When you make promises....
When you make commitments
When you love you be ready
To face the pain.. the pain of
Shattered dreams..When poison
warns you...then you want,
You need an explaination
When you are denied a call
When you are denied a word...
You are left alone in darkness
When the geographical divide
laughs at your silence Its time
that you signoff..else you can't do
it gracefully...its all about grace
Pain is very relative feeling...
When you are used to it then
You fail to identify its presence..
Life is too good to live for....

Thank you othalanga....Thanks 4 that..
comment...You opened my eyes...I was blind...

It was an obsession
that phase is over forever..everything which blooms fast.......???
I told you all in the previous post that if muddy waters get cleared
by this sunday I will write a travelogue....Everything is 'fine'
really fine...

And my words are eluding me...in the depths of mind....
I wish i had a time machine...Othalanga.. I wish I could.. have you
Cowards and nice people are synomymus...Ditch them...ditch them alll...
they wont plan revenge..the wont crib.... they will offer you friendship
where you will play all the cards...You can domiante...So thanks for all....and bye...

Jaipur...The royal city

A secret...it is quite difficult to remeber the names of places and those trivia.. guides give....S K Pottekad...you are gr8

I claim no authenticity to the datas given...

May 5th night 11:00 pm in a sleeper coach 2 of us start from frying pan dillii to tandoori jaipur.....Who knows the time when we reached pink city may be 6:00 am in the morning....though the coach was really uncomfortable we slept 'pleasantly' and reached.moved to a hotel whom the rick driver who bought us got a gud commision...that he charged only 10 Rs..for a very long trip.After bath we hired a rick for sight seeing(they charge u 300 bucks...pretty decent)....and we moved to Birla mandir...(usual temple yaarrrr....w lot of marbles)Mrs.Gayathri devi 84 years old..(rajamatha..) stays in the palace behind to that..(triva...She still models for some diamond brand..and ayakalathu avar..oru mahasundari ayirunnu...)

Then we visited museum..There was an original work by davinchi..a pencil sketch of an old man...marvellous...piece of art...ya.. off course there were minature paintings of rajastan..which is painted using one stranded hair brush..actually 2 schools of painting...Kota school and Jaipur school....(photography not permitted.. :-( )

Then our next destination was hawa mahal....through pink city I dont know why it is called pink city It is actually orange city...(for mallus it is 'kaavi' yaar...) the city was white b4..in respect of the Prince of Wales...the maharaja..(so n so.painted it pink)..But one thing i like....Damn planed city Jaipur is.. marvellous town planing...it is the new capital of rajastan.. the previous was amber...

Hawa mahal...it is build for the Maharani's to eat air.. and see the festivals without being visible to general public...MCP kings live long....Another trivia...(it has got 600 odd windows..(not sure..:)) and doesnt have a foundation it is a civil engg marvel....) A 4 stored excellence... in civil engineering made almost 400 years back..Another trivia...there lived a king of rajastan who used to drink only gangajal...so when he went to england for a trip he carried 1800 litres of Gangajal in two silver pots...and those silver pots are still available at City palace.. coming to City palace this is where the present Maharaja Bhavani Singh lives...

I was getting tired in scroching heat...Ya the babes were sexy..phoren ones..showing all thier assets..then we moved to kanak brindavan..A garden wat else..(when the writer is lazy how lazy wud be the readers..) Better i post some pictures..Somewhere I have read a picture is worth 1000 words....Really I m tired writing prose is really difficult lazy people dont try writing prose..You will fail miserably as I did :-)

(amber palace...)

(birla mandir)

(hawa mahal...)

(museum...)

(note the kanikonna...This is some tomb of some maharani...I bought 'dried' kanikonna flowers for 50 Rs.. year.. for preparing vishukani...happy to see this tree..though @ a diff terrain..)

New to a relationship...and my second apology in 2 days...

2006-05-05T04:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry my sweetheart
though I am also pained
I find your pain is hurting
me more than my pain
I love you...and I miss you..

For my other readers(If at all.there is someone..) I m sorry again...
This is my blog and emotions have become
too..volatile to handle..i dont have anything new to offer
When the storm..recedes.When I hear her giggles again
I will be back to my real slef...
Now I m just a mad lover pleading for pardon...
I m leaving for jaipur today with a heavy heart
may be things are in place when I return back on sunday
and I promise you a travelogue...(may be my first one in life...)

I m with you

2006-05-04T00:32:00.000-07:00

when you feel you are alone
you are terribly wrong
When you feel he is away
you are terribly wrong

when you write he is the words
when you sing he is the song
when you wish he give more
when you cry he wipes them all.

I pray for you....

I m sorry

2006-05-03T01:54:00.000-07:00

I m stranded..
again all alone..
Her silence sends
shiver through my spine..
Why did I doubt
I dont have the right
She faded in anger
I m again alone in pain.
I begged her not to
read all those junk
I dug the hole...and
I knew that I am the one
I warned her
but she didnt listen
I told her my pain..
but she just kept mum.
I m the sinner
And I m bombed..
He gave me the glass..
vase and i ended up droping
When she show
her pain in silence
I m feeling so helpless
Why did I wrote such a mail ?

I feel a lump in my throat....but not helpless...

2006-04-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

Again a post with 2 parts....now a days I am forced to compartmentalise my thoughts.....when cupid strucks...u are changed soul....

Outburst.....

http://blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com --------> Do visit this blog

No one would like to talk about sexual harassment....It is like an accident....

When your loved ones become a victim of that.. then only you will acknowledge the fact that accidents do exist...same is the case of sexual harassement...

It is not about me being preachy...When you see a chick...your hormone levels do go up....(except if you are a hermit with immense self control.. you will feel nothing when you are brushed with a girls body...)But it doesnt mean that you cup her breasts..and fondle her body to dampen your dirty fire.It is animal instict...You are a qualified man only when you control your emotions...or else you are mad dog who ought to killed....Yes society do permits killing of mad dogs...

Slap them hard girls....Men please..When your wife,sister or mom get the same experience.. will you continue to show this indifference....If we continue this attitude it is just matter of time....that predators will reach your home tooo.....

It is just an emotional outburst which I couldnt control and I shouldnt control also..proactive comments are welcome...Will write about this after I collect my thoughts....and information...

A real time story that I read in PG came to my mind...And I think this should be shared...

(as my memory is poor and i couldnt locate the thread...I m posting the of the story..may be some rewordings...some additions...are there but story is a true... one...according to my belief)

There were three teenage girls who used to move in a crowed mumbai train to thier college/school...There was a man who used to molest them(yes...that is the word...we use very less criminal word..tease...so that...it doesnt get the needed stress)

Being not coward and when the incident started repeating these girls confided to a bolder girl in thier class...And she came up with an idea..We will inform this to police and will take police in mufti....so that we can catch that devil...redhanded....

They did the same...The bolder girl was in another seat..from where she could see the proceedings...the man who fondled her classmates breasts was a familiar figure for her...That devil was responsible for her birth...He was her father....and when the police caught him...redhanded...that girl moved near the door....looking outside...she waited for the train coming in the next track...

And in the tracks of mumabi..hers was another suicide....I dont know what happened to that father...and daughter....But think devils think of your loved ones before making those grave mistakes...

Yes your family, your image in the society etc are more important than fingering the cunt and fondling the breasts of a strange lady...If still you cant control it go kill yourself before you get killed like a mad dog...

Spread awareness about this menace...atleast that we should do...bare minimum....

Togetherness.....

When you weep...

Its me who's sad...

When you smile.....

Its me who's happy...

When you are bright...

Its me who shines...

When togetherness

strikes it catch you

completely wrongfooted..

and you fall together

to rise another day....

When shoulders are wet

Then hearts are light....

When I hold your hands....

I feel so strong...the

strenght of togetherness

Dont you feel so... ?????

15 days...Flew past....

2006-04-26T00:45:00.000-07:00

What title should i give for this poem...
written by my best friend.....
ramkiran...as my creativity is going dry....(is it so....)
and my work driving me...to the corner..
I thought of sharing this to my reader(s)

Sometimes,
Life becomes hard,
When you find,
Someone,
Like you the most
and treat you,
Like the one
She was waiting for years
Like the one
For whom she can wait for years.,

I dedicate this blog to my beloved on this 15th day of our meeting.....

come back soon

2006-04-22T02:13:00.000-07:00

As my inspiration is away...I pack my old wine in a new bottle....my blog...
Nothing comes to my mind...
I dont claim this is an original work...just a nokki varacha padam...

what shall i do to make you happy.....

2006-04-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

I was your pain
But you were my gain
Shall I be your mom...
Shall I be the rain...
Shall I be the green...
or shall I kiss you
and bite ur lips...and
then whisper in your ears
That I m yours....
and your are mine...
My dear I m blessed
the chosen one for you
No one dare to stop me
Because I m a tool
and he is the master
He made the choice
To make it possible
is his headache We need
not break our head..
We shall love love and love
I kiss you to sleep..
and i will wet you as a rain
and then eat you in my lust.
We will have two kids..
A boy and a Gal...
Believe in him and
Everything shall be fine

Part-1:Obsession, Part-2:Emotion

2006-04-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

Part-1: Obsession

Yesterday I waited for one missed call from 3:00 am and she sucessfully made be awake until seven without giving me one...and then washed all my pains with a kiss on my closed eyelids....This is about her....

She

I dont know who she is
She came in without knocking
I dont know why she came
She only said "I love you"

I dont know why she loves
But then she typed two poems
I dont know why she typed
She only said "I miss you"

I dont know when she came
She now is in scheme of things
I dont know what to think
She just kissed me to sleep

But I know how she came
He wanted me to cry a lot
Then she wanted to wipe them
all, she was his masterstroke

I dont know why she slept
She wanted to test me or what ?
My eyes are paining and throat is
dried,But I love her a lot

I dont know why sleep eludes me
Is it that I want her beside me
May be she only knows what I feel
Do I exist here or am I dead ?

What happened to TISS ???
Did you clear ?? are you unhappy ?? No.....
Why should I ????

Part-2:Emotion

Past two days I was celebrating my newfound life...I dont know when it will...(floursih,perish,no comments..) he he..I am hiding for cover.

It is time to be serious...I hate press....Fuck who told they are fifth estate.Journalists are hippocrats...They just represent the minisculest emotions which flow through the corridors... of power..and they are just manipulators....(sorry Mr. P.Sainath...You are an exception...)

People who are not in cities are saved...They dont have to gulp filmfare(TOI) every day...with morning tea Cleavges...miniskirts...I dont mind alll these in maxim and stardust.. I too luv to fantasize...But not everyday.But I too want news...and I dont get it as a news...I am forced to read stories....and glorified pornography...What is the difference between brothels and newspapers....??
Brothels doesnt corrupt your soul it just gives biological ecstacy...But newspapers corrupt your intellect and thinking process by altering it.....If your children read newspapers slap them....

You know I read an article...in TOI(bloody bitchy newspaper..which painfully I also love to read to get the latest on rape..latest on sex tourism,dirty politics moreover to get an early erection....to masterbation)
portraying that medha padkar is using cheap publicity tactics...by drinking water directly from narmada...The journo went on saying that these all gimmicks makes her a celebrity.The article concluded very nicely saying that NBA has lost its relevance.....And to the extend it went portraying it as a anti developmental agency....

Mr.Ambani.. I remember your Photograph published in a newspaper add...supporting sardar sarovar dam...I do agree you are great entrapreneur.. you are learned..you are rich..and you go to africa very often that lions recognize you(courtesy again TOI)...Can you please tell me what is development ??

3 lakh adivasis...dont they evoke any emotions in you...Who doesn't know why they are thrown off..what is a government..Why they are targeting us..they also have beliefs..And the same Govt. which denied about any delay...agreed in supreme court that not 35000 odd but it is just 16000 families which need to be rehabilitated......
As per city standards...taking a 5 members family...it is 8 lakh people....I dare Narendra modi or even Sonia gandhi to compete against Medha in her home turf...malayalithil parangall.. ketti vacha kashu kittilla...(just a gut feeling.. may be the mighty govt will make me bite dust....)..i dont mind eating that....

Why naxalism is growing in rural india...How is 11500 points of sensex helping...people...who want a cover from rain and a times food to eat..And when aamir came and sat for the cause...Then also this bloody newspapers didnt had a shame in linking that ...with upcoming movie of aamir....Why are you so cynical India...Why dont you people acknowledge that do gooders exist...??

Beyond the TOI can reach.. there is an India..Where 60 % of our population starve and live...I write this in the comfort of AC...and I dont do anything except spiting fury...Why am I so ?? and why are you so ?? we so-sos will spoil this country....
enough is enough I wasted the memory space...But It gives a happiness... of breaking a glassware to bust your stress...And sorry this time my wrath fell on TOI...and they plainly deserve it...HT is no less....

Do not rely on media..to form an opinion It is time that we find some way to get out of the clutches of media mafia..and our childrens... too...I am fed up of stories...

I got the biggest gift of my life.......

2006-04-17T08:27:00.001-07:00

This vishu...was something special for me.....
Now when should I tell my mom about the biggest gift
my kannan has given to me...that is the only question...???
Before that...my gift also need to accept me after seeing me.. and understand me..completely. Am I making too much demands or am I too afraid to take that risk due to fear of failure ,But underlying fact is that I just dont want to make my mom sad thats it...
I have talked to many people in my life...but I feel she was something different, buzzling with energy....and damn frank....Kanna is this the girl for my life .....tell me.....
She write poems...She is cute....and romantic She can talk to you for more than half an hour and you feel she called u jus b4.. and wat more u want ??? and above all she is also passionate about my kannan....I spoked about her to my best friend...today....I have promised him that i will tell him if I like some gal at some point of my life.... I told him about our discussion and he aslo feels that this is a gal whose wavelenght is amtching with me... so gr8ly...

It was the biggest thing which i wanted in my partner...that she should be a devotee of kannan...may be the world would declare that i m crazy...But for me...until now he is everything,He is not God for me...May be he is my best friend..my brother with whom i can fight and cry... my inspiration my motivation and purpose of life..
And when he gives me a partner who also is an adherent follower what more can I can ask....I have promised to dream about her... may be i will dream..... or not I dont know....I have grown too unromantic...but I love her....so very deeply.......

Today my windows got corrupted....the reason which i asked her to give for not submittng the assignments it back fired me.....and my gtalk is gone....Has the love bug bitten me too !!!!!
A whole blog dedicated to a gal...may be somepont of time we will read this together.....:-)...
Will wait 4 that

I got a reader...now i have to blog....

2006-04-13T04:04:00.000-07:00

I do love blogging...but I dont know whether anybody reads that or not...I dont care that also...
Now I have a reader who have not promised me to read...but I feel she may read my blog..

Is this blog about her...?
No...It is not about her...the thing is that I met her blog while searching for my lost blog..So she just came in without my permission..As I got her thru google and we chat in gtalk she can be aptly named google gal.When you search yourself, you sometime meet your alter ego..or atleast feel that this is your alter ego..But I am bad in starting relationships..or keeping them...but as of now..I enjoying chatting with her....a nice girl with a beautiful blog...

Tomorrow is vishu....when you are in different environment it is not that significant..today i tried calling my mom to ask how to prepare vishukani...
But I couldnt get the line... :-(
anyway 2mrow morning i m going to prepare a kani with my available knowledge...n resources..where in delhi i will get kanikonna...
kittate varilla...

I feel now a days I m really stoic...When God hands you over so many defeats he do that to make you stronger..My TISS result will come on 18th but really i m not that worried...am I getting matured or am I going a depression phase where I am mistaking it as my stoic attitude ?? I dont know...But as of now I am really amazed by my capability of being happy even without a galfriend, even not gulping alcohol, even not smoking, living 25 years without having sex for even once.. and even not being rich..for the matter of fact I dont derive pleasure from my job...
Still I m happy...infectiously happy...

yaar... its all about attitude...be happy for ever.. u get some u lose some....
But act as if your the luckiest guy ever lived in the world...it becomes a habit...
My smile was just a mask to hide my disappointments..Now it has become a way of life for me...

emotionally logical

2006-03-07T20:51:00.000-08:00

i dont know the logic of writting a blog after a bomb blast...
yesterday it was in varanasi...near BHU...
Why these spineless acts...???
Does this shows the folies of Indian secularism....or percolation model not working.
come on wats ur justification... why are you people hiding behind the masks...??
I pity on indian left also...Once i too...was a lefist like anyother mallu...
But why the hell are you so devoted to your outdated principles...
You also know there is no walkback from this globalization.. still you whines and you tooo
try to appease minorities...What is the fun ??
I would not mind if a person like lalu or mulayam do all these...Its well within my rationale
But why the hell so called elite communists are doing...??? atleast we believe you are the less corrupt...may be u are less corrupt materialistically...Indian left i feel is having a corrupted soul..
enough of politics...I am not being cynical...But terrorism I feel is a social catastrophe..
Human lives are valuable...it is not just statistics...and every ruler,opposition and we public
are responsible for the deaths..I pity myself...

enough of depressing thoughts...yesterday I was told by my friend that i lack prioritization...Ya...sometimes I also feel I do lack that....So times I am crazy...in my decisions..But nobody bothers to find why..And now a days I am used to it...Everybody is happy with decisions..and will try to make opinion based on the decisions.Nobody bothers to ponder over the thought process..i dont know whether these all make any sense...or a justification to keep me at bay..

But i feel the very nature of blog is to write nonsense...whimsical things...:-)

delhiyile adyathe diwali

2005-10-31T23:25:00.000-08:00

enne patti parangilla loo.....
eppo delhiyil.....purusha janamam..Capricorn... vayassu 24.oru MNCiyil mechanical engineeraaa(not much.. gr8 !!! copy paste jeevitham)
kalyanam kazhigitiillaa.....(alochichu thudagiyittilla athonda...) he he
research in management, social work, poems .. padam vara...psychology
philosophy...erotica...politics....avasyam ellatha ellathilum interest undu....above all
krishnan(he is my passion from childhood)
pinne edakku chilapoo for sake of argument and solving probs... i act as if love my subject mechanical engineering also
kazhinga diwalikku ammayum achanum enthe kode madrasil
undayirunnu...
this time i am alone at delhi....
amidst blasts i am not feeling insecure anyway...
i salute the spirit of india...
blasts was just shaved away from the memories of delhities...
in no time......India rocks...!!!!
though the pain is unbeareable...we mask it up with lights and smiles...
are oohh terrorist ****ers u are a failed class before this brave delhi.
this whole week i will be off....coming monday will c u all...ta ta 4 now...
CAT prep...
bakkki ellam thingal azhcha vannituu parayam...
minayannu jhan ammakilikoodu enna padam kandu...
kidilamm....( i will come with a review if possible)
i jus loved it.....

soo... bye 4 now